Impermanence and Change

There is a story I heard a while ago that has helped me to deal with impermanence and change. It is about an American tourist who went to visit a rabbi. When he went to the rabbi’s home, he was surprised to see the room filled with books, a table, a chair and a bed. The traveling tourist asked him, ‘Where are your things?’  The rabbi replied, ‘Where is yours?’  The puzzled American replied, ‘But I am just a visitor here. I’m only passing through.’  The rabbi then said, ‘So am I.’

Each time I remember this story, it pulls me back into awareness of the things I’m grasping on to so tightly.  I’ve held many material possessions, and have been guilty of hoarding physical things and emotionally feeling possessive of a certain person or relationships.  When I feel stressed it triggers my emotional eating habits or another form of over-collecting is to fill my schedule with too many activities and projects. All forms of hoarding.

Researchers estimate about 2-5% of the population deals with some type of hoarding disorder with difficulty parting with material possessions in their home. I believe our home is an expression of how who we are and what we are feeling.  The Japanese organizing consultant Marie Kondo is popular today because of her methods to de-cluttering your household and life.  

Similarly, I first learned of the DanShaRi concept from Hideko Yamashita when she came to New York for a lecture.  Not knowing what to expect it turned out to be one of the most enriching lectures I have been to.   DanShaRi written in with three characters means to refuse, to discard and to separate. Hideko says, ‘it is deciding, releasing and leaving stressful situations and things behind and about renewing the heart space and transforming the mind.’

Have you ever thought about those past awards, trophies and plaques you have kept for years in your home? Or how about the gifts from a loved one or past relationships that you don’t really use any longer? While these items are cherished keepsakes of ours, is it a re-occurring symbol that is conditioning us to hold on to our past? In the lecture, Hideko Yamashita articulated that if we are not using our things or appreciating them, we are not giving it life. Yet with our tokens of honor, if we cling too tightly, we may be interfering with our growth process to bring about new experiences and accomplishments.

Impermanence is the change agent that urges us to release the possessions that are already past due and to take inventory of what it is we truly value in our life. We are the owners that decide how we are exerting our consumption and holding power. In coming to terms with a self-care solution, I would say to evaluate your set values that are inherent and choose what will free your highest Self expression.  

In closing, here is a quote by Thich Nhat Hahn.

 ‘Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If in our heart we still cling to anger, anxiety and possessions, -we cannot be free.’